I call my ex and demand that he stop saying things like this to my son. “This is unacceptable. You cannot use Justin to get to me.”

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My experience:

He gets angry and says that I’m making this all up, that Justin’s just a kid and that I’m freaking out over nothing. He says I’m crazy, that I’m not mentally stable enough to take care of our son. He threatens to ask for full custody. I’m terrified. I’m questioning my instincts and wondering if I made the right decision. I realize that even when I set clear boundaries, I might be perceived as unstable.

Explanation:

Just as they did during the relationship, abusers tend to ramp up their abuse when the victim tries to regain control or set boundaries. This is why it’s so important to take post-separation violence seriously: the post-separation period is especially dangerous for women who take steps to reclaim power over their own lives.

Resources:

SOS violence conjugale

This project was funded by the Government of Quebec/Secrétariat à la condition féminine.