Challenging Parenting Decisions and Disparaging the Mother

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Since separating from my ex, I have shared custody of Justin, my seven-year-old, who I love more than anything. On Friday night, Justin arrives at my home. He seems concerned. I ask him what’s going on and his eyes fill with tears. He tells me, “Papa said you can’t take care of me properly. Is that true?”

My throat gets tight. I feel sad, and angry.

What should I do?

  • I comfort my son and tell him that his father is exaggerating. “Papa was wrong to say that. I am a good mom. You are safe with me.”

  • I remain calm and decide to avoid the topic. “It’s normal to have feelings. Now let’s try to have a good weekend, OK?”

  • I call my ex and demand that he stop saying things like this to my son. “This is unacceptable. You cannot use Justin to get to me.”

This project was funded by the Government of Quebec/Secrétariat à la condition féminine.